Godly Dating: Questions to Ask Before You Start.

Thinking about dating can be exciting, but it can also feel confusing. How do you know if someone is right for you? Or if you’re ready for a relationship yourself? Dating is a serious step that can impact your heart, your faith, and your future. Asking the right questions before you start dating can help protect your heart, grow your faith, and set the foundation for a healthy relationship.

Below are twelve questions to guide your heart and mind as you consider dating.

1. Why do I want to date?

Understanding your intentions is important. Are you seeking companionship, friendship, or a relationship that could lead to marriage? Sometimes young people enter relationships for the wrong reasons—peer pressure, physical attraction, or simply to fit in. Reflecting on your motivations ensures your heart is focused on what truly matters and that your relationship can grow in a God-honoring way.

Proverbs 16:3 – “Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established.”

2. Do we share the same faith?

Faith is the foundation of any godly relationship. If your spiritual priorities differ, it can lead to confusion and compromise. When two people share a desire to grow in God together, the relationship becomes a partnership that strengthens both spiritually. Asking about faith early sets expectations and ensures alignment in what matters most.

2 Corinthians 6:14 – “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness?”

3. Do we share similar values?

Values shape how we make decisions, treat others, and handle challenges. Consider whether you and your potential partner share similar morals, priorities, and life goals. Differences in core values—such as honesty, integrity, and respect—can create tension in the relationship. Asking this question helps you determine if you’re aligned in ways that really matter for a healthy, lasting relationship.

Amos 3:3 – “Do two walk together, unless they have agreed to meet?”

4. Does this person treat others with respect?

Character is revealed in how someone treats others, not just you. Pay attention to their behavior with friends, family, and even strangers. Respectful, kind, and humble actions indicate a heart aligned with God’s principles. Conversely, rude or selfish behavior is a warning sign and should not be ignored.

Luke 6:31 – “And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.”

5. Are they honest and trustworthy?

Trust is the backbone of any relationship. Honesty means being consistent with words and actions, while trustworthiness ensures your partner can be relied upon in every situation. Entering a relationship with someone who struggles with honesty can lead to disappointment and unnecessary complications. Taking time to observe and evaluate this quality can protect your heart.

Ephesians 4:25 – “Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.”

6. Am I emotionally ready for a relationship?

Being emotionally prepared is crucial. Relationships require compromise, patience, and maturity. If you’re seeking validation, struggling with unresolved emotions, or not ready to handle conflict, dating may not be the right step yet. Reflecting on your own readiness ensures that any relationship you enter is healthy, balanced, and mutually supportive.

Psalm 34:18 – “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”

7. Are we willing to seek God’s guidance together?

A relationship that honors God involves both individuals seeking His wisdom together. Discussing prayer, reading Scripture, and seeking His guidance shows that your priorities align spiritually. If one or both of you avoids spiritual conversations or disregards God’s direction, the relationship may lack the foundation it needs to flourish.

James 1:5 – “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.”

8. How do we handle conflict?

Conflict is inevitable, but how it’s handled makes all the difference. Ask yourself if the other person can communicate respectfully, forgive, and work toward solutions. Avoiding problems, lashing out in anger, or manipulating situations are warning signs. Understanding each other’s conflict style before dating can prevent unnecessary stress and heartache.

Ephesians 4:26-27 – “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.”

9. Do they support my goals and growth?

A godly relationship encourages both individuals to grow personally, spiritually, and emotionally. Consider whether the person celebrates your accomplishments, motivates you to be your best, and respects your dreams. If they are jealous, discouraging, or controlling, this may indicate a relationship that limits your growth rather than fosters it.

1 Thessalonians 5:11 – “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.”

10. Are there any red flags?

Sometimes your instincts notice things before your mind fully registers them. Pressure to compromise values, secrecy, controlling behavior, or disrespect are all red flags. Pay attention to warning signs and trust your instincts. Seeking guidance from mentors, parents, or spiritual leaders can provide clarity and perspective.

Proverbs 22:3 – “The prudent sees danger and hides himself, but the simple go on and suffer for it.”

11. Am I comparing them to others?

Comparison can cloud judgment and create unrealistic expectations. If you find yourself constantly measuring a potential partner against someone else, it may prevent you from seeing their true character and potential. Embracing the uniqueness of the person in front of you allows the relationship to develop honestly and with gratitude.

Galatians 6:4 – “But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor.”

12. Am I prepared to honor God in this relationship?

Ultimately, every relationship should reflect your faith and values. Ask yourself if you are ready to honor God in your words, actions, and decisions within this relationship. A commitment to seek God first ensures that your relationship builds both of you up spiritually and emotionally, rather than leading you away from Him.

Colossians 3:17 – “And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”

Finally…

Dating is more than a fun activity—it’s a step of faith and intentionality. Asking these questions before you start dating helps you protect your heart, honor God, and build a healthy, godly connection. Take time to reflect, pray, and seek counsel from trusted mentors or parents. Remember, God’s plan for your life is good, and the right relationship will support your growth, faith, and joy as you continue your journey.